London - She's almost busted a gasket at news that Gibraltar's British sovereignty has been horribly messed about with by a Spanish police patrol.
Courtiers had to up her intravenous largactil as details of the outrage emerged, described by Spanish Basque Separatist sources as nothing more than a daring tit for tat for that 'singeing of the King of Spain's beard' in Cádiz circa 1587.
At the core of the diplomatic incident is a Brit male jet skier who was chased - and fired at - by a Guardia Civil boat crew in British Gibraltar territorial waters around seven o'clock last Sunday night.
The unnamed holidaymaker and his jet ski passenger were enjoying ripping through the balmy waters of Western Bay when the Spanish patrol boat 'completely lost it', firing at will at the terrified Brits.
Tonight Palace bigwigs and Foreign Orifice honchos are in emergency lockdown over the hideous incident, mulling retaliatory options on the filthy Spaniards.
But the Queen's life expectancy 'has taken a blow' and many fear she could kick the bucket after this latest diplomatic prang.