Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Monday, 24 June 2013

image for President Putin Calls Cameron A Nincompoop Over Mountain Misunderstanding!
'Oy, Putin, I want our mountain back....NOW!'

The Prime Minister is still refusing to leave his home in Downing Street to face reporters following the urgent telephone call he made to President Putin last night when demanding that Russia return Mount Snowdon to Britain immediately.

The front door was opened for a few seconds this afternoon, but only for the PM's hand to be seen pushing deputy PM Nick Clegg out into the street to make the necessary statement on his behalf.

Mr Clegg, who appeared less than pleased to have been chosen to explain what had happened, nevertheless did as he'd been instructed.

'As you will have learned by now,' he began, 'the Prime Minister made a little mistake last night when he thought he heard on a radio news bulletin that Mount Snowdon had been sent from Hong Kong to Moscow.'

Explaining further Mr Clegg went on, 'The Prime Minister has told me that he was absolutely livid, not just on hearing that Britain's highest mountain was now in Russia but also because he hadn't even been informed that the mountain had been in Hong Kong.'

'When David told me I must admit I was surprised to hear the mountain was no longer in Wales myself, though of course we've both since realised that Mount Snowdon in fact IS still in Wales.'

'Unfortunately that fact was not realised by the Prime Minister when he made the urgent telephone call to President Putin last night.'

On receiving the Prime Minister's phone call, President Putin, who is said to have dashed from his bed thinking WW3 was about to commence, is reported to have responded to the Prime Minister's demand for Mount Snowdon to be returned to Britain immediately by calling Mr Cameron 'a bigger nincompoop than even that nincompoop William Hague' before slamming the phone down on Mr Cameron and then going back to bed.

Finishing the statement Mr Clegg assured, 'The Prime Minister has asked be to assure the people of Britain that the government has no plans at present to allow any of Britain's mountains to leave our shores.... unless we're offered a good price of course.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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