Written by Andy Woolfoot
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Wednesday, 27 September 2006

image for Doherty set to join local politics
"Yeah, I'm clean!"

PETE Doherty has outlined his latest plan to prove to the world once and for all that his hell-raising ways are behind him - by applying to join Tetbury Upton Parish Council.
The news comes following stories in the tabloids this week based on a friend of his saying he might get married to supermodel Kate Moss and paparazzi photos of Pete in rehab looking like he'd had a bit of a shave and combed his hair which proved he'd kicked his drug habit.

The Babyshambles singer approached a group of reporters who were out having lunch on Tuesday with the news of his new-found interest in local politics and when they asked him to leave he presented hand-typed press releases to each of them.
A source also told The Spoof that Pete, 27 1/2, rang Goth-faced truth vandal Victoria Newton's bizarre team every half an hour for an entire day and bombarded them with emails.
And Pete seems keen to start work as soon as he has finished touring Ireland.

"I've always had an interest in the work of parish councils and Tetbury Upton is by far my favourite. I can't wait to start."
Instead of injecting unconscious fans with heroin and threatening reporters with broken beer bottles in Ibiza, Pete will be spending his time preparing questions for Policy and Resources Committee Meetings and catching up on the latest developments with planning objectors.

Gone now, it would seem, are the days when Pete would drag naïve school girls onto his tour bus or hilariously fail to turn up to court and ahead lie the exciting prospects of writing charity appeals for the church mag and pestering reporters from the local newspaper to ‘come and have a look at the rubbish these kids left next to the cricket pavilion at the weekend, eeeh, it's a disgrace!'
"It will be a change from all this rock and roll malarky and sure I may miss honking away on my crack pipe for days on end, but I really feel I have something to offer the people of the Tetbury and the surrounding villages," Pete added before pretending to faint and carefully falling down a flight of stairs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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