Written by j.w.
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Topics: Horse Racing

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

The GG races at Royle Ashcart have surprised punters who expected exciting races.

Unfortunately GG8 proved disappointing with Dick Branson on Virgin Ridiculous winning by a short head. Bermuda Shorts was left far behind and the favourites Jersey Bounce and Guernsey Gamble were nowhere. Clarence Baldy, commentating, said some runners showed little interest.

The GG20 was very boring with Black Horse, Bart Barmier, strolling in with no one near him. Russian Mafia boss Vlad Putin accused the other jockeys of eating their horses oats and Dave Cameroon, who had taken an early lead, failed to grasp his opportunity.

The Queen's horse Another Handout was withdrawn because she could not afford to race him due to pressures on her purse caused by Prince Philip's hospital fees.

His Doctors had explained that keeping a corpse alive was very expensive.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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