Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 13 June 2013

image for Queen's portrait defecated in Abbey
Bastard. It was you, wasn't it George

London - Someone has gone and lobbed a bloody great big turd at a portrait of Her Maj in Westmonster Abbey.

And it's completely f++ked up the pic's Royal Tiara.

The snake oil on canvas painting was on display in the Abbey's Chapter Eleven Bankruptcy House alcove, depicting the Queen in a State of Undress.

This morning a man wearing a brown suit and breathing equipment lobbed a fresh two and a half pounder slap bang into the middle of the Diamond Jubilee commemorative painting.

"It was crap," he was later seen tweeting, "just like the portrait; bloody woman looks just like Hugh Laurie's daft Prince George in Blackadder III."

The 10ft x 6ft canvass will now be hosed down at the Archbishop of Canterbury's convenience or nearest unisex bathroom depending on its state.

Commenting on the PR disaster a Palace spokesperson said 'sh+t sticks, you prole' before slamming the phone down on our reporter.

The Marchioness of Upper Slaughter's chihuahua is 5 tomorrow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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