Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 9 June 2013

image for Kate Middleton papped shopping with 'Madge Allsop' lady-in-waiting
Madge Allsop's arthritic seaside donkey sort of expression from the sheer weight of it all

London - Fans of Dame Edna Everage were agog this weekend as pics of pregnant Kate hit the net showing an elderly female serf - a dead ringer for ex-bridesmaid and long term Dame companion Madge Allsop - hauling the spoils of a shopping trip.

The double-act was spotted earlier trawling the shops for baby stuff and things prompting fears that some sort of Sir Les Patterson kinda interior decorator is in charge of Baby Cambridge's nursery wing.

A few well-rehearsed poses for local paps saw Kate strut her bump and flick her extensions as the aged minion sagged under the sheer weight of dozens of parcels, an arthritic seaside donkey sort of expression lighting up an otherwise po-face.

Later a tweet from Buckingham Palace insisted 'Madge Allsop' was no lady-in-waiting but a humble seamstress friend of the late Marchioness of Upper Slaughter, hired to stitch up a few items in time for Kate's mid-July farrowing.

A yard of worsted crimplene organza retails at around five squid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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