The UK government has announced that despite budget cuts at home, aid to Africa will be increased over the next few years. The announcement has been welcomed by charities and African dictators, who are looking forward to spending the cash bonanza.
In order to prevent the aid being stolen or diverted into the corruption which sadly afflicts the continent, much of the aid is to be delivered in the form of food and drink produce which is manufactured in the UK.
Uganda is to receive a batch of 20 million turkey Twizzlers. Botswana will be delivered 10 million packets of Monster Munch. South Sudan will be the grateful recipient of a million litres of Aunt Bessie's roast chicken gravy. Somalia will get 8 million packets of Mr Porky's pork scratchings. Zambia is due to expect 15 million frozen packets of Findus Crispy Pancakes. The Democratic Republic of the Congo will get 800,000 packets of Marks and Spencer's delicious own brand sugary gelatinous snacks Percy Pigs. Libya will receive a 2 mile long eel pie.