Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Prince Philip

Monday, 3 June 2013

image for Malingerer Duke ducks Blind gig, insists tomorrow's Coronation Thanksgiving service must proceed 'even if he's RIP by the morning'
Quack! Quack!

London - The Duke of Edinburgh has pulled out of a reception for the Royal Institute of the Blind Leading the Blind this evening after coming down with something torrid behind a Palace potting shed.

Cancelling on the St James's Palace gig Phil the Greek looked sick as a parrot that's just been stuffed without any anesthetic.

His place escorting Queen Elizabeth was taken by the Marquis of Upper Slaughter who later wet himself behind an aspidistra stand when a tipsy HM accidentally touched his, er, golden walking stick.

Bloody embarrassing all round.

Tonight Prince Philip is under doctors' orders, tucked up beneath a splendid Harrabs' monogrammed and crested duck down duvet, a largactil drip still plugged into his arm ahead of Tuesday's Coronation Thanksgiving service at Westmonster Abbey.

Bookies say it's even money if he'll even make it through to breakfast.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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