London - The Duke of Edinburgh has pulled out of a reception for the Royal Institute of the Blind Leading the Blind this evening after coming down with something torrid behind a Palace potting shed.
Cancelling on the St James's Palace gig Phil the Greek looked sick as a parrot that's just been stuffed without any anesthetic.
His place escorting Queen Elizabeth was taken by the Marquis of Upper Slaughter who later wet himself behind an aspidistra stand when a tipsy HM accidentally touched his, er, golden walking stick.
Bloody embarrassing all round.
Tonight Prince Philip is under doctors' orders, tucked up beneath a splendid Harrabs' monogrammed and crested duck down duvet, a largactil drip still plugged into his arm ahead of Tuesday's Coronation Thanksgiving service at Westmonster Abbey.
Bookies say it's even money if he'll even make it through to breakfast.