London - (Associated Mess): Despite myriad occult rites throughout the United Kingdom yesterday invoking the legendary supernatural powers of the autumn equinox, senior grandees of the Hellfire Club are reported as powerless to stop the predicted tide of disaster that now threatens to sweep their way as their number one rent boy and official apologist, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, prepares to face his accusers at the Labour Party annual conference in Manchester this week.
At the customary commemorative ceremony held at Stonehenge yesterday the Ancient Order of Bards and Druids was in sombre mood when asked to interpret the dire astrological influences of the preceding day's eclipsed Virgo new moon which fell on Cherie Blair's 52nd birthday, transiting her Solar Third House of deceptions, rash decisions and undeclared offshore accounts at the Riggs Bank branch in Bogota, Colombia.
And at parallel equinoctal rites at London's Hampstead Heath and Primrose Hill, Hellfire Club members masquarading as thirty-third degree Druid elders were busy trying to persuade sleeper recruits to form a covert breakaway faction in a desperate rearguard action designed to infiltrate the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Corruption Unit, currently investigating the bungs-for-peerages fiasco that saw Prime Monster Tony Blair's blind trust bagman and number one WMD fantasist Lord Levy busted earlier in July.
This panic knee-jerk reaction was in response to continuing UK press reports this week that unmasked the younger son of Pretender to the House of Mountbatten Throne, a.k.a. Prince Harry, as the bastard offspring of convicted perjury felon and former Conservative Party Treasurer Lord Archer.
Allegations are persisting that this cuckoo implant into the Pretender's family tree was an essential component of Blair's demonic 1998 Good Friday Agreement with the IRA and its assorted UK Fascist Party bankrollers, which was brokered as a fundamental part of the Third Way agreement by the Clinton Administration after 'persuasion' by impeaching counsel Ken Starr during the Santa Monica Lewinsky proceedings that focused on a lack of ball gown dry cleaning facilities at the White House.
As the dark clouds gather this weekend on the horizon, the Arkansas Come-Back Kid himself is preparing to fly into London for his inaugural address to an invited audience at the Royal Albert Hall where he will deliver the seminal lecture 'Lame Duck Leadership for the Future'.
This former Democrat President of the United States - who has described his predecessor George Bush Senior as being 'like a Godfather' to him - is garnering transatlantic support for his wife Hillary's 2008 bid for the White House - a move that would see him propelled back into the limelight as the USA's first ever First Husband in residence.
But political analysts on both sides of the Atlantic Bar & Grill continue to remind skeptical voters that 'Things Can only Get Bitter' as the Come-Back Kid's former mucker Blair prepares to face the music at the same time as the Albert Hall gig kicks into action....