Reports are coming in of a suspected terror attack on the streets of London this afternoon. An unidentified teenager apparently knocked on the red door of a local resident and was filmed afterwards using religious language.
Witnesses say that the teenage male, after the incident, was filmed saying 'oh my god, that was so funny'. Video shows the teen gesticulating wildly and speaking in an unintelligible manner. There is also evidence of red paint on his knuckles.
Experts say that the incident bears all the hallmarks of an al-Queda attack. 'In Pakistan and Indonesia, terrorists have often used this technique to spread terror. Residents fear the 'knock' and panic rapidly spreads'. In one town, terrorists knocked on three doors in one morning, and were only thwarted in knocking on a fourth by brave passers-by.
The government's terrorist strategy committee, Cobra, are meeting at the moment. They will decide what course of action to take - a ban on knockers is possible, and all suspected teenagers interned in Cardiff Bay without charge another option.
Terror attacks have increased recently as soon as it was noticed that there hadn't been many recently. 'This has absolutely nothing to do with a poor showing in the local elections,' said no-one at all.