Written by queen mudder
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Topics: London, Bill Clinton

Friday, 22 September 2006

image for Come-back Kid plays the Albert Hall
At rehearsals this week, the Arkansas Come-Back Kid

London - (Associated Mess): Former US President Bill Clinton will play to a sell-out full house at the Royal Albert Hall next week in the first gig of his global come-back tour that promises to feature a medley of greatest hits including "Fool on the Hill", "Suspicious Minds" and "You Ain't Nothin' but a Hound-Dog".


The concert is part of a recent re-branding exercise to promote a re-vamped Third Way strategy which culminated in the ex-President admitting that his predecessor , the notorious former KGB/CIA double agent and mafia gangster President George Bush Senior "was like a Godfather" to him.

A few tickets are still available on internet auction sites for those who can spare the odd $5,000 a pop but this will guarantee them a strictly limited bird's-eye view of only his left ear lobe from the strategic seating postioned behind an obtrusive pillar near the Hall's rafters.

Luckier mortals positioned in the first five rows of the auditorium's Inner Circle are guaranteed a Santa Monica Lewinsky-esque vantage point .

However, a posse of security guards and an electrified fence separating the audience from the stage will ensure that the Come-Back Kid is not troubled by the cigar-collecting memorabilia fraternity whose desperate attempts to secure that Bolivar cheroot at the heart of the 1998 Clinton controversy was systematically foiled by beneficiaries of Yasser Arafat's estate - the official recipient of the hand-rolled Havana import that mysteriously disappeared from the evidence basket during Ken Starr's impeachment proceedings.

Later, at a champagne reception in the former fish market at London's Old Billingsgate, Clinton will mingle before an invited audience which has bunged up the Fortunate Forum charity which is sponsoring his first leg of the come-back tour.

There will be a no-questions-asked question and answer session for the lucky invitees who will be able to make direct bung donations - a la the recently publicised Blairesque bungs-for-peerages model - to the former President's charitable foundation as well as his wife's re-election coffers ahead of the November ballot.

Clinton is also expected to give an official interview during the evening's celebrations about his forthcoming planned metamorphosis as the US's inaugural First Husband at the White House role, scheduled for November 2008.

And although the lucky lady wife Hillary is not expected to join her husband at the September 26 event due to committments at the US Senate, her team of professional minders is rumored to be surely watching his every move as adoring fans swamp to press the flesh at this Starr-studded gala evening.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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