Written by Joe Leff
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Monday, 20 May 2013

A Headingley woman caused a massive shock when she came home from a shopping spree in Leeds with nothing at all!

Leeds is the biggest shopping centre in the north of England, with an estimated 6 million eager customers buying loads of stuff every day in hundreds of thousands of shops.

Security guards spotted 50-year-old Ann Nomaw leaving the shopping centre with absolutely nothing in her basket, bags or pockets. She was detained for further questioning - before TV news reporters arrived on the scene.

Mrs Nomaw's husband is said to be in a state of shock after hearing news of his wife's unusual behaviour. Friends and neighbours advised Mrs Nomaw to seek urgent medical advice.

A local doctor, based at the Leeds Medical Bargain Centre, reckoned that this seemed like an unusual case of 'purchasaphobia'. He warned that "the next stage is when the patient starts giving all their stuff away - offloadamania."

Mrs Nomaw is now undergoing special retail therapy under the watchful eyes of several ultra-persuasive shop assistants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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