Written by CaptainSausage

Print this

Sunday, 19 May 2013

image for Scotland could take UK's place in the EU, says SNP

A spokesman for the Scottish National Party has suggested that if Scotland becomes independent from the rest of the UK next year, and if the rest of the UK wants to leave the EU, then it would make sense for Scotland to take over the UK's seat in the EU.

Jocky McHokey explained that since Scotland wants to remain part of the EU but England wants to leave it, then instead of forcing Scotland to reapply for EU membership, it would make more sense for Scotland to simply inherit the UK's membership.

He said that there were a number of steps to achieve this. Firstly the capital of Britain would have to be temporarily relocated to Edinburgh for the duration of the handover. Then, England would need to declare independence, thereby leaving the EU at the same time. Wales and Northern Ireland would at that point be able to decide whether they wished to stay with England or not.

This diplomatic sleight-of-hand should please most parties, and the EU have indicated that it would not break any of their treaties. It does raise some difficult questions though. Many English people might resent having to declare independence from Scotland, and there would be implications for other British institutions.

For example, because England would be separating itself from Scotland, the Queen would technically remain Queen of Scotland only, and would have to be recrowned Queen of the newly independent England.

Control over the pound Sterling would automatically transfer to the Royal Bank of Scotland. To make this even more bewildering, RBS is currently owned by the Westminster government. The Bank of England would then need to create a new currency, the English pound, which would be pegged to the Scottish pound at a rate of 1 to 1.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage was initially enthusiastic about the idea, but appeared angered at the concept of England becoming independent. On being told that he might need to rename his party EIP he began ranting and cursing wildly, apparently unable to control his rage. "F***ing Scots! How dare they say we need to declare independence? After all, once you join a union you can't just leave when you feel like it," he said confusedly.

Make CaptainSausage's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 1?

9 2 4 24

Go to top