A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street.
George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell head-first on to a display copy of 'The Times', which had been pasted on to a concrete block-board. Both of them ended up with broken noses, and Florence also smashed her front teeth.
The display copy of 'The Times' was covered in blood - giving its strangely predictive headline: 'Bizarre Accident in Gateshead' even more impact.
Mrs and Mrs Sellers are thinking of starting a new business elsewhere, since their newsagents shop hadn't been doing too well recently. "We'll maybe set up a cushion shop. We're not going to fall on hard times again," they said, with a highly extravagant nasal twang.