Written by Mohan Boone
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Monday, 29 April 2013

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Coppers have rounded up a runaway gang of vagrant haggis bank robbers in the highlands.

The haggis, of which there were eighteen, were found running around in circles in a swamp on Glen Regis with a sack full of Swiss bank notes and a barrel of blended whisky. Three of them were carrying sawn-off shotguns and the ringleader was performing voodoo on a golden eagle.

They remain in custody after being declared too drunken for questioning and are due to stand trial on Tuesday.

Their parents have been informed and the eagle has since flown off.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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