London, England. In news slowly but surely emerging over time, Professor Derek Spindlywood, of the science faculty of Dagenham University, has discovered the last resting place of Oliver Cromwell's head. The only republican leader of Britain, Cromwell's head was placed on a pike after his death by Stuart supporters celebrating the restoration of Charles II. After some 250 years, the skull was buried in a mystery location.
Professor Spindlywood, a keen patron of bars and taverns, had a conversation with someone who he'll only describe as a "mole". The individual disclosed that he knew where Cromwell's head was interred and the kind Professor expressed interest in finding the skull.
After a journey of "some kilometres" the Professor was led to an isolated location and a spot which, after some digging, revealed a large black box containing the last vestiges of this nation's once indomitable ruler. Professor Splindlywood said he held the skull in his hand and uttered the phrase "alas poor Olly, I knew him kind sir".
Professor Spindlywood ruled out leaving the remains in the ground and indicated he wants to sell the skull on Ebay for a handsome price.