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Friday, 19 April 2013

image for Equality Commission sniffs out sexist panty sellers
Bras: must now be sold in men's sizes

The Equalities Commission - a handle for the body under the umbrella of the European Commission for Discrimination against Inequality - have said they have uncovered an "astonishing" level of sexism in the underwear industry.

Investigators for the EC went undercover into a number of lingerie shops and found that they were selling large numbers of goods aimed exclusively at women. At one undergarment emporium in Chalfont St Peter, a male EC operative was told there was nothing in the shop for him and that he would be ejected if he did not stop looking at the ladies' clothes.

The EC also discovered that male employees were being discriminated against, pointing to the example of 42 year old long-term unemployed bra-fitter Jimmy Grope. Mr Grope has applied for work at a number of bra shops over the years but is always turned away due to his male sex. He is now considering having a sex change in order to get a job. He explained, "I love tits, me."

The EC has asked the underwear industry to be more "gender-neutral" in their approach towards underclothes, and to follow the example of Sweden. There, all underwear must be unisex and discriminatory garments such as Y-fronts are banned.

Bra shop owner Teddy Lace responded to the allegations by dismissing them outright. He said, "I only sell undies to birds because I like to watch them buying them. Sometimes I'll have a go and chat them up. They really go for men like me who own bra shops, you know. Now if that's sexist then sue me."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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