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Sunday, 14 April 2013

image for Anti-Thatcher protest found to be a medical condition
she isn't dead enough, say protesters

Politicians are urging calm tonight, after the revelation that widespread anti-Thatcher demonstrations may actually be the result of an epidemic.

Miners, socialists, Travellers, students and anti-capitalist protesters are converging on London to demonstrate against Margaret Thatcher's legacy. Police and health workers have been briefed on how to handle the situation with the appropriate sensitivity.

One shouty individual displaying typical symptoms stepped off a bendy bus near Horseguards this afternoon, confronting the first media types he could find waving a furry boom, "She took away the chances of the next generation. She wrecked the country." he foamed.

Experts have confirmed that protestors are suffering from anger management issues arising from a combination of erectile disfunction (aggravated by shame that getting something so unusually small up should be straightforward), and dementia (caused by sitting around obstinately for the last 30 years unemployed, cocooned in self-righteous indignation).

Other demonstrators who were clearly babes-in-arms or even a vague itch in the crotch area at the time of Margaret Thatcher's premiership, appear to be suffering confusion arising from lead poisoning. The medical profession are still speculating as to the exact cause, which may be down to contaminated rice in takeaways or licking church roofs while planking.

Demonstrators are expected to converge on Trafalgar Square this evening from across the country, although there are as yet no signs of a large crowd. Activists appear to be compensating for the lack of numbers by ducking and running back and forth in front of cameras varying their facial expressions from 'disgruntled' to 'vengeful'. Security guards have been deployed to protect landmarks such as Nelson's Column, particularly from the tiny-willy brigade.

Left-wing politicians of the era were anticipated to be out in force rallying the demonstrators, but are currently reported to be encountering difficulty parking their jags, or leaving their comfy armchairs in the House of Lords snug.

Medical professionals are urging police to use restraint and compassion when dealing with protesters, although it is possible that some may just be twats.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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