Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 12 April 2013

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Thatcher, going to her own funeral today

The coffin of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who died a few days ago, is to be launched into Deep Space after her funeral, it has been claimed by me.

Thatcher, who was "highly thought-of" in mining circles, was the first woman to hold office as British Prime Minister, and what a wonderful mess she made of the job.

Leading the country into a war with Argentina - then ranked 129 in the FIFA War rankings - Thatcher needlessly sent 258 British service personnel to their untimely and early deaths, scoring only 649 Argentine deaths in the process.

Then, in the years after her hollow victory in the South Atlantic, she came up against the IRA, who tried to blow her up in the Brighton Hotel bombing, so-named as it took place in a Brighton hotel. She survived because she was made of iron.

Now, however, after she succumbed to the after-effects of a stroke, she is to be conclusively despatched into Deep Space where she can do no more harm to anyone. Her ashes, or, more accurately, Iron Filings - will be encased in Titanium, and aimed at the deepest part of space known to humanity to make it extremely unlikely that she will ever be heard of again.

Mind you, you never know, do you?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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