Written by whatinthe world
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Topics: Divorce, Parrot

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

image for Man divorces parrot after relationship breakdown
Nigel, the annoying parrot

Liverpool, UK. In astonishing news just beginning to break (we think),a middle aged gentleman has been granted a divorce from his seven year old parrot;yes, a parrot. The unprecedented event occurred only a few hours ago and more details are emerging as we go to print.

The man who initiated legal proceedings had been living alone for some years, though he had a South American parrot for company. He claimed that he bought the parrot through Ebay and that it had to get special clearance from Customs to enable it to enter British sovereign territory.

In court, the man said that he grew attached to the delightful bird's chatting and he bought it special treats such as cracker biscuits and worms to keep it happy and animated. The man said he named the bird Nigel after his late uncle.

After a time, the man noticed that Nigel would momentarily get upset and call his owner a "silly old dick". The man said he would at first ignore these comments and just put it down to Nigel being tired and stressed. However, he realised it was something more significant when Nigel squawked one day "you hopeless, lily livered son of a fishwife, get a life you bag of bones."

The gentleman claimed that he couldn't understand Nigel's reasons for saying this and other obtuse comments. He said Nigel was never exposed to any radio or TV broadcasts apart from the Derby at Ascot.
Unfortunately for the man, Nigel's comments got worse and increasingly included colourful four letter adjectives which made the owner very upset.

Finally, after a period of nervous tension, the man sought action in the courts to end his relationship with Nigel. It is understood that Nigel will be placed with the RSPCA and a new (some say unlucky) owner will be found.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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