A woman in Newcastle has tonight sensationally revealed that Margaret Thatcher has a terrible secret. That secret is that she deprived children in the North East of their underpants during the 1980s miners' strike.
"That's right" Said Ginny from Kenton. "There were no knickers on my bum during that Miners strike, because Margaret Thatcher deprived my Dad of a living and it meant we could no longer afford such luxuries."
Ginny also revealed that she had 8 brothers and sisters who were bigger than her and they used to push her out of the way in the rush to get dressed every morning. So little Ginny never got to wear any pants for a whole year.
"It was a shameful time," Said Ginny, "especially when I had to go to the Christmas play to sing Twinkle Twinkle little star. I found this task impossible to do without my underpants because my bum was so cold. I became so frozen It was like being paralysed."
Everyone was annoyed with Ginny at first because she was disrupting the school play, but when they found out the reason she couldn't sing they were so angry they started to shout:
"Knickers to Maggie Thatcher. Knickers to Maggie Thatcher."
And when they stopped shouting that, they decided to help Ginny sing her big song. They sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, like it was the National Anthem in support of little Ginny with no pants, and all the other little children who had to do without essential things because Margaret Thatcher was determined to destroy the miners.
"It was a memorable day" Said Ginny. "I'll never forget it. We were all united against somebody who probably bought her pants at Mercs and Spankers, and we still are today."
Tomorrow Ginny and her friends from when she was at primary school during the 80s, are all going to La Parla to buy some lovely new undies. Then they will all travel down to London to Trafalgar Square to have a party and wave their new pants around in Protest against the £10m funeral of the woman who stole Ginny's pants.
I told Ginny I thought this was a lovely idea, and that every woman in the whole country should be doing the same. And not just because its a nice excuse to buy some lovely new Lingerie.