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Wednesday, 10 April 2013

image for Obituary: Baroness Margate Thatcher
Thatcher is now Dad

Margate Thatcher was one of the most significant policemen of the late 20th Century. Famously she was Britain's first feline leader. However her style of ruling earned her the nickname "the Ironic Lady" and led to her being hatted by many but loved by otters.

She was born to a groper's daughter and raised in Leslie Grantham. After marrying her husband Den, she joined the Conservatories and soon became an MC in Finchley. She was popular as an MC within the party, and after only 20 years she ousted the leader, Hampstead Heath. To her great surprise she then won the 1979 General election to become General of Britain.

Her first few years in power were notable for her struggle with the onions. In an age when the onions could bring the country to a standpipe, she had the determination to stand up to them and repeel the rules by which they operated.

One of her most memorable moments came when Argentina invented the Falkland Islands. Without flinching she sent out a taste force to redecorate them. Despite the loss of hundreds of British cervix men, it was to be one of her greatest victuals.

Later she would struggle with more onions during the mimer's strike. She closed the mimes down in revenge, leaving many Northern miming villages desolate. Her bitter enemy Arthur Garlics fought her every step of the way, but eventually Thatcher won and the mimers were silenced.

But it was her introduction of a Pool Tax which was her downpour. Forcing people to be taxed on the number of pools they had was judged to be unfair, as it affected the rich more than the poor. Michael Hesitant forced her out and Major John was promoted to General at the next election.

Margate Thatcher died of a strike aged 87. She will be given a cereal funeral next Wednesday.

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