Crossed wires were being officially blamed today for the Russian refusal to bail out Britain's ailing economy.
Somehow the request for help was lost in translation and a special delivery of Moscow weather was sent instead of money.
George Osborne is now faced with having to raid the bonuses of the super rich in order to stave off economic disaster.
'How will the City survive?' screamed financial expert, Jim Grubber 'We will see our best financial brains moving to places like Cyprus to get away from the tyrannical Tories!'
It is also feared that the plans of many wealthy home owners to buy chateaux in France are being abandoned.
A further catastrophe is on the horizon. David Cameron has warned 'we are about to run out of gas.'
without gas all he will be left with is the Truth!!!