In a surprise announcement the Chancellor has announced that Britain's bail out has been agreed with the Russians.
'It was the Russians or bankruptcy' Osborne revealed to a shocked House of Commons. In exchange for the massive Russian bail out the only thing that could tempt the Russians was the Premiership.
So, from 6 o'clock tonight all Premier league teams will be owned by Russian oligarchs. Chelsea, who already have this advantage, will be playing all away games in Moscow.
Backbench Tories were aghast at the news. 'We had to defend ourselves against the Russians during the Cold War but now we let them in through the front door' exclaimed Sir Toby Trashcan.
Rumours that the Russians would demand the end of the House of Lords and the Monarchy were denied, but it is thought any future deals could depend on a Brisish republican system.
Ed Balls, replying to the chancellor's statement said Labour had always said that Osborne's policies would lead us into the arms of Russia. 'What is to become of our famous clubs under the boot of the Russian invaders?' he asked.