Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 12 March 2013

image for Women shopping on a budget are urged to shop with cross dressers
This whole outfit costs ten pounds, admittedly, she's wearing nothing under the coat.

A recent survey has discovered that, when it comes to clothes shopping, cross dressers win hands down for finding bargains.

"After twenty years of marriage," said Hattie Coates, editor of Fashion Magazine, "I discovered my husband was a cross dresser. At first I was appalled, but it soon became apparent that he could sniff out a bargain in a clothes shop better than the personal shoppers who work there."

Ms Coates has put this remarkable ability down to cross dressers not getting as much wear out of their clothes as full time women.

"I'll buy a dress, and I'll get sixty quids worth of wear out of it," she said. "My husband won't, and he refuses to pay more than a fiver for any item. What's the point of spending a lot on a dress if you're only going to wear it a small number of times before it becomes a museum piece?"

The usual haunt of cross dressers, the charity shop, is still a good place to find a bargain, but the dedicated transvestite can spot an extra reduced item from eighty metres away, through a brick wall and a crowd.

"It's quite remarkable," said Hattie. "Now we're open and honest, he'll not only find a great bargain for himself while we're out, he'll spot stuff that I'd like, and doesn't cost the earth."

Both Hattie and her husband, Jack, are now happy. Jack because his wife supports his unorthodox hobby, and Hattie because she now has an entirely new wardrobe for under fifty pounds.

Produces of the daytime television programme, Bargain Hunt, now check to ensure that none of the contestants are cross dressers, as they always win by a country mile.

"We like to keep it fair," said orange faced host of the show, David Dickinson. "And being good at finding bargains isn't fair."

Psychologists have been studying the phenomenon to see if it can have applications outside of finding a pair of sling backs reduced because of a scuff on the sole.

"Sadly," said Simon Kologee, head of the British Army's Alternate Approach division, "Cross dressers are no more adept at spotting an enemy tank in confusing terrain than the average individual. Unless they're selling cheap bras inside."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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