London - "I thought it's just the bloody plebs that you're charging," a livid HM said to David Cameron as the full impact of the government's bedroom tax took hold.
"Gawd knows where Philip will now keep his hand-held bazookas, the spare room's already heaving with one's eBay spoils."
News that from April anyone on any form of state handout will either have to downsize a bedroom [or 37] - or agree to take in lodgers from a government-approved pool of incoming Romanians and Bulgarians - has hit the Queen hard.
The brainchild of UK Handouts Secretary Ian Dunkin's Myth the austerity clawback will clobber the various Royal Palaces hard.
Their combined 3,000 sumptuous bed chambers and relaxation suites are maintained at public expense by a whopping £35 million per annum royal housing benefit cheque.
Now all that will change as IDS's swingeing cutbacks decimate New Labour's largesse to state-dependent parasites and restore sanity to the public purse.
But you can expect a bloody great big tantrum before a single penny's been recovered.
Prince Philip is close to 98.