Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Topics: George Osborne

Sunday, 10 March 2013

image for Top Psychologist says Tories are mean because they've got "Dumped by Mummy Syndrome"
This Mummy dumped her child because she wanted fly a shark in the park

A top psychologist has today published an article outlining a new syndrome that sheds light on the cold hearted behaviour of several top tories.

She calls it "Dumped by Mummy Syndrome" and she says its a syndrome that needs to be treated right away because its existence is effecting the well-being of the poorest people in the country.

"Dumped by Mummy Syndrome" is most prevalent in adult men who were dumped in boarding schools at the age of 10 by heartless, uncaring mothers who thought they had better things to do than raise their children at home.

This kind of dumping leads to boys in boarding schools directing their resentment on the weakest members of their social groups. They develop a Lord of the Flies community full of bullying because they are thrown into an environment with no mother figures to teach them about love and kindness.

She said this environment sets off a chain reaction that leads to uncaring, heartless behaviour in later life, such as becoming a banker or implementing bedroom taxes, or destroying the NHS without remorse.

She said that the syndrome can be cured, though. The cure involves going to live in a hippy colony for three months in Morrocco and listening to speeches given by Tony Benn, and music by Lefty musicians such as Billy Bragg and Bob Dillon.

She says that George Osborne is of particular concern to her because she believes his "Dumped by Mummy Syndrome" symptoms could lead to him making more decisions that could cause harm to the poorest people in Britain. She also says he should get help...before its too late for some poor disabled person from Basingstoke or somewhere similar who will be made homeless by his cruel penny pinching policies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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