It's been a frantic 24 hours. First, the ironic twist of fate when French horse burgers were found to contain 20% of that great British food, the turkey twizzler.
Confusion then reigned after it was found the turkey twizzlers contained up to 100% bleached horse meat.
The hapless and clearly confused French Food minister surmised, "these burgers are essentially 100% horsemeat plus a further 20% horsemeat".
Local French retailers jumped on the bandwagon, promoting the horse burgers as '20% extra free'. The easily baffled French public have been buying up as much as they can in case the offer ends.
Bernard Matthews are now planning to launch a new variation of their turkey twizzlers, 'Donkey Twizzlers' - believed to be 100% donkey meat which has 60% horse meat which has 40% turkey twizzler meat. Bernard Matthews have since commented, "by our calculations, 100%, plus 60%, plus 40%, makes 200% meat for every donkey twizzler sold - double the usual amount - we therefore intend to market the product as 'buy one get one free'."