An internal report to David Cameron from a Conservative Think Tank, Money Talks has come as a great shock to the PM.
The contents of this report have been leaked to your fearless reporter by 'a well wisher' and we can bring you this exclusive information today.
The report begins by outlining the last disastrous Labour Government 'leaving us to clear up the mess they failed to prevent the Banks heaping on the British public', they mention Gordon Brown as 'completely negative' and the 'shambles Labour became known for'.
'Unfortunately' the report continues 'we did not defeat Labour despite their track record at the Election and had to join with those drips known as Lib Dems.'
The report then goes on to outline the Opposition's failings : 'a leader who often seems to be out of his depth, a Shadow Chancellor who has failed to impress even his own fans.'
But then comes the punch line: 'It is regretable that most of those questioned by Opinion Polls think the Conservatives, their Leader and Chancellor are even worse.'