Written by IainB
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Monday, 11 February 2013

image for Traces of Cameron found in Brooks
Is he a contaminant?

Hot on the heels of the news of horse in beef burgers, horse in crab sticks, horse in sore throat lozenges and horse in lasagne, it now turns out that there are traces of David Cameron in Rebekah Brooks.

"We were as shocked as anybody," said lead forensic detective, Jenn Darme. "To find traces of the prime minister in the disgraced News of the World editor, is remarkable."

So far, only minute quantities of Cameron have been found in Brooks, but the more the forensic teams look, the more that they are finding.

"Our current estimates," said Brooks, "is that Brooks may be up to forty percent Cameron."

If true, this means that Brooks will have to be reclassified.

"We're thinking of reclassifying her away from a ginger, posh, money-grabbing no-good cow," said Darme, "to simply Ginger Tory. There's no getting away from the ginger."

Suppliers of Brooks have claimed that there is no contamination by Cameron or indeed any politician, and that any suspected contamination may have come from a previous administration. None of whom they consider to be politicians.

"They're also claiming," said Darme. "That the contamination we've found is actually horse, and it came from eating exclusively Tesco value food. Which to believe?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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