Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 8 February 2013

image for Now saddle of lamb removed from butchers' shelves
Bad for ya? Been eatin' whorseflesh myself for donkeys years

London - The horse flesh contamination scandal saw a new twist today as the EU ordered a raft of emergency foodstuff bans.

From midnight tonight saddle of lamb is banned from all sales outlets along with 'polluted' items on greengrocery shelves.

"We've been told to take precautionary measures and remove some suspect radishes," a government food inspector explained, "masquerading in supermarket pickle aisles as horseradish sauce."

Also off to landfill are frozen fish fingers after tests at Insanesburys confirmed they are most probably contaminated by 'cheap end' marine food chain products 'like native seahorse'.

Today's ban could also spread to Aintree Racecourse, home of the Grand National, and to the UK monthly sports periodical Whorse And Hound.

Commenting on the crisis a spokesperson for the Jockey Club said 'WTF?' this morning.

A pound of whorseflesh retails around 66p.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 4?

9 5 7 1
112 readers are online right now!

Go to top