Written by Shaworth
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Topics: Paul Gascoigne

Thursday, 7 February 2013

image for Bournemouth Photographer admits guilt for latest Gazza booze meltdown
The photographer outside his Bournemoth shop yesterday

The photographer at the centre of the Gazza booze binge storm has admitted his part in the much loved footballers latest drunken meltdown in an exclusive interview with Shaworth of the daily Spoof.
"I was really busy when he called by" the photographer grovelled, "I really didn't know he would take it so badly".

The photographer has received insults and threats from fans of the Geordie footballing genius, and wishes to remain anonymous; so we will call him simply "John". "He was going on about needing a passport photo", John explained, "because he was going abroad to do charity work. He was involved in a project to provide clean drinking water supplies to remote villages in Africa. He was really looking forward to rolling up his sleeves and getting stuck in. He hadn't had a drink in seven months. Then when I said I was busy he just went to pieces."

When pressed why this minor back street photo hack would turn away possibly the most gifted footballer the country has ever produced John looked nervous but eventually the truth emerged, "Jeremy Kyle was on you see and er the DNA test results were about be be revealed. I feel terrible now. If I had know what was going to happen I would have taped the programme and watched it later."

Gazza in the meantime has been admitted to an emergency alcoholic abuse centre in the United States were his condition is described as merry, and deteriorating. More on this when we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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