Written by j.w.
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Topics: Parliament, MPs

Friday, 1 February 2013

image for Offensive Minister Appointed
Algernon Crapper

A new post, Offensive Minister, has been created by the Government as a result of public demand : the new Minister is to be Algernon Crapper MP for Littlehumpton - a man who will imbue confidence into his Post.

In an announcement Crapper stated that he would 'come down hard' on all offensive behaviour. In particular he is much disturbed at scurrilous attacks on people of Faith.

He explained that people who need 'a crutch to lean on in order to remain stable' should not be further damaged by people who offend them and their beliefs.

'You wouldn't kick a walking stick away from a person with weak knees' he suggested 'so we must support those who simply cannot cope with people who are hurt by nasty comments.'

In future those guilty of Offending will have to declare they are SORRY and people who re-offend will have to say they are VERY SORRY.
Crapper is bringing in aides who will vet all the media so that Offending can be nipped in the bud.

Savings from cutting benefits to undeserving poor people will go towards funding the new Offending Ministry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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