Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 January 2013

image for David Cameron 'stalking whorse' bollocks names wrong Tory
Cameron rode Rebekah Brooks' police whorse Raisa seen here with an Obama lookalike

London - A third-rate Sunday red top 'exclusive' has named an up-and-coming Tory tosspot as the secret leadership challenger to oust PM David Cameron in a coup d'etat.

The revelations come from the paper's same 'deep throat' that channels Camilla Fucker-Proles' delusional ramblings about royal stuff at five thousand quid a pop.

At his palatial Pratts Bottom mansion this evening Isle of Dogs and Barking MP Douggie McBastard admitted to revelling in the Sunday Fascist fantasy that sees him rise - turd like - to the Tory top job.

"WTF?" he commented to QM-NewsCorpse reporters as news of the tabloid-generated coup broke.

All that's not fooling Nick Clegg of course after myriad weekly Tarot Card readings repeatedly predicted him as the next British Prime Minister 'when Cameron falls on his sword'.

Online oddsmakers Aintgottaprayer.con make Clegg even money favorite to serve the remainder of his career inside HMP Belmarsh.

And Julie Burchill is still 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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