Written by Crunk
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Monday, 21 January 2013

image for Nix-names banned from Defence Procurements
sufferin' jets - air farce

Amid concerns that the new F35 'Lightning II' fighter jet can be exploded by lightning, and that the 'Rivet Joint' aircraft may be barely airworthy the armed forces have now been instructed to adhere to a stricter naming convention.

Cuthbert Pomfret, for the Defence Procurement Agency said today "Now that we have realised that we can 'nix' our own kit by naming it incorrectly, the Army have been dissuaded from calling the new armoured fighting vehicle the 'Hurtful Names' for fears that it might be undone by a callous word from an insurgent. Ditto the Royal Marines will not be calling their new RIB the 'Insult' assault craft, as a single bawdy word from the shoreline could sink an operation.

It is deeply unfortunate that the Navy already has 'Frigates', as we are now having to instruct our ratings (male as well as female) to wear mittens in bed to prevent a mishap, and our 'Destroyers' are terribly vulnerable to George Osbourne."

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