Written by Joe Leff

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Sunday, 20 January 2013

A 50-year-old man was admitted to hospital after eating a leather thong in a vain attempt to cure stomach ache.

Vegetarian Albert Tewsum, from Gateshead, had been suffering with severe tummy trouble for several days, after unknowingly eating some horsemeat. He was advised "to chew a tiny bit of leather which should dissipate the pain."

Not wanting to damage his shoes, he asked his wife to see if she had a bit of soft leather. When she approached him with her skimpy leather thong, "it looked delicious," said Mr Tewsum.

After chewing the thong for about five minutes, he accidentally swallowed it. But unfortunately, it did not ease his stomach ache.

As his wife said: "The thong is gone, but the malady lingers on."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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