Written by John_L
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Wednesday, 16 January 2013

image for Housemate found in Beefburger
A Burger

Shoppers in England and Ireland today were shocked to discover that Beefburgers stocked by many of the leading supermarkets have been found to contain meat from former 'Big Brother' housemate Jade Goody.

DNA testing by the Irish Food Standard Agency (FSAI) found that the burgers were contaminated with traces of Human DNA. After testing over 100 burgers they found not only were they all contaminated with Human DNA but all of the DNA was from the same person. It was at this point that the police were contacted.

"We were shocked to find Human DNA in the results." Professor Ryan O'Reily from FSAI told us "At first we thought that it was a contamination during the sampling process but extensive retesting proved that there was Human DNA and that it all came from the same individual. We immediately contacted Interpol who trawled the DNA databases and came up with a positive match that of the late reality TV star Jade Goody."

Goody's DNA was taken shortly before her death in 2009 as part of her application for a work permit in India that she needed to take part in the Indian 'Big Brother'. It is thought that her body was stolen just after her death and then stored in the processing centre until this year. An extensive police investigation has found that other bodies were taken at the same time and were about to be used in the burgers.

A statement from the Metropolitan Police stated that three people have been arrested and they are in the process of contacting the relatives of those people whos bodies have been found. There has been no comment from Jade Goodys family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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