Written by Crunk
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Saturday, 12 January 2013

image for GET HIM OFF MY TELEVISION!!! - says everyone
the approved Savile image

A class action is being filed on behalf of the British Public against BBC, ITV and C4 jointly to redress trauma and distress of seeing 'that b*stard' every time the news is broadcast. Or any BBC retrospective.

Keith Foss, spokesman for SOS (Sod Off Savile) stated "Frankly, I was sufficiently damaged the first time around seeing that leering face looming out of the telly all the time when I was a little kid. Now we are allowing a whole new generation of children to be needlessly affected in this way. We don't need to dig him up again. And again."

The protest group acknowledges that the enquiry must run its course and that those directly affected by the abuse gain some closure through recognition of the crimes of the 'children's entertainer'.

"But do we really need the creepiest fish-eye-lens shots of his satanic face gurning in slo-mo and his vile body 'doing energetic things' in a skimpy vest? Every bloody hour? We KNOW who he was. Surely no-one needs to recognise him unless there is a danger he might somehow clamber out of his coffin and have another go".

Tamsin Stirrup, Head Media Whore at BBC News24 explained that they had to maintain 'brand awareness' due to some clause in Savile's old contract that was drawn up between the BBC Director General and Savile's agent (and signed 'Beelzebub', but it is unclear by whom).

SOS have demanded an immediate cessation to any public broadcast or media image of 'that face'.

"At the very least the whole of Britain wants its license fee refunded this year, and a wedge to pay for the therapy to wipe the memories away. Oh and some for the victims too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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