Britain is to become the first alcohol free-zone in the free world because many Brit binge drinkers have had enough of puking at the weekends.
Puking Health minister, Jeremy Hunt, issued a health hazard after vomiting at the sight of Brit binge drinkers throwing up at the annual House of Commons Christmas party, "damn revolting," he said, "and now it is time to ban the damn stuff, burp!"
The British boozing public are now following the ministers guidelines by pouring millions of gallons of beer, wine and spirits down the plug hole because they say, "anything they can do we can do better!"
Alcoholics Anonymous are protesting against the ban because they fear for their jobs and in the present economic climate they might be forced into brewing "moonshine liquor" in their sheds to drown their sorrows and make a bob or two.
The government have many supporters who sleep on park benches and under bridges at night because lately the local drains have been flowing with the stuff and filling up their empty meth bottles has given them a new lease of life!
As Dutch icon, Johnann Cruyff (who?), once said and I quote, "every advantage has its disadvantage" or something mad like that; by the way he was sober at the time.