Written by John_L
Print this

Monday, 7 January 2013

image for Captive breeding centre to open in Ashford, Kent
Lib Dem at breeding centre

In a first for medical science the Deputy Prime Minister will today open a captive breeding centre in Ashford. The centre will provide a habitat for lonely Liberal Democrat voters and hope to produce the next generation of Lib Dem voters.

"I'm very excited to be opening the breeding centre." Clegg told BBC Breakfast "We have taken such a hammering in the polls since joining with the Conservatives. Plus we have lost members and have now fewer party members than UKIP, the BNP and the Greens. The aim of the centre is to produce a new generation of Lib Dem voters. Although we won't see the results until at least 2031 although we are going to try and bring the voting age down to 16."

The centre will feature bland colours and will play light inoffensive music all day. The only media allowed will be the comment section of 'The Guardian' while TV's will play episodes of inoffensive bland dramas like 'Gray's Anatomy' and 'Downton Abbey'.

Michael Clark the project manager told Sky News "We were lucky to get a hold of the disused immigration centre. It only took a lick of paint to get it all sorted. So far we have three males and four females. But we hope that we will be able to find some more Lib Dem's in the wild. However they are becoming a very endangered species."

An online form for Lib Dems to sign themselves into the centre has not as yet yielded any volunteers, which contrasts with a form posted by Gunther von Hargans looking for people willing to breed for his research.

Make John_L's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

5 18 9 1
45 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more