Written by Tommy Twinkle
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

image for Intruder Throws Prime Minister Through Window At Number 10!
We'll be there in 24 hours!

The Prime Minister is recovering following an incident during the early hours of this morning in Downing Street when he was attacked by an intruder in his home. Thrown through a ground floor window the quick thinking Prime Minister then managed to stretch out his arms just in time to avoid landing head first onto the hard cobbled road outside enabling him to cartwheel several times along Downing Street before safely stopping..

Wife Samantha had been the first to suspect they had an intruder in the house when she'd been awoken by unexplained noises in the house just before 1:30am this morning. Explains Samantha,

'I immediately woke my master in his bed next to mine to report the unexplained noises I had heard.'

Samantha says the Prime Minister's initial response was to tell her to open their bedroom window then call down to PC Pratt standing on-duty outside. Explains Samantha,

'My master thought it best to let the police deal with the situation.'

Explaining further she said, 'After I'd called down from our bedroom window to tell PC Pratt outside of the suspected intruder in my master's house he called back up to me saying he would record the precise time of receiving the report into his notebook but that the police are no longer allowed to respond to such reports for at least 24 hours.'

Explains Samantha, 'On being informed of this Mr Cameron jumped out of his bed and then rolling up the sleeves of his pajama jacket said in that case he would ready himself to deal with the intruder himself and when doing so make sure not to exceed the amount of force permitted by law.'

Points out Samantha, 'My master is very strong.'

Mrs Cameron says she meanwhile managed to escape from the house with most of their children down a rear fire stairway then took refuge with them at the home of their neighbour, Mr Osborne. Daughter Nancy is thought to have safely joined them there later having firstly stopped to use a toilet.

A check up at a nearby hospital found a few shards of glass needing to be removed from the Prime Minister's head, but nothing more serious. He has now rejoined his family at the home of Mr Osborne.

Inspector Brian Cosh of New Scotland Yard who is investigating the incident said this afternoon,

'It seems unlikely the intruder is still in the house but we won't be sure of that until we enter then search the premises after the full 24 hour period has elapsed. Until then Mr Cameron and his family are to remain at Mr Osborne's house.'

'The Prime Minister has given us a good description of what the intruder was wearing but was sadly unable to give us a good description of his face. He said the intruder had a long white beard.'

'Mr Cameron has told us the intruder was wearing a long dark red coat with white fur trimmings, same red coloured trousers, and was wearing black knee length wellies. He was also carrying a large sack over his back.'

'I doubt he'll still be wearing the same attire now,' admits Inspector Cosh, 'and he will have shaved off his beard. This will probably go down as another unsolved case. I've explained to Mr Cameron that the chances of us catching these intruders increase considerably when victims report them to us much sooner...at least 24 hours before things like unexplained noises are heard.'

Make Tommy Twinkle's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

3 2 18 25

Go to top