The 87-year-old former Conservative prime minister Lady Thatcher is in hospital after undergoing a minor operation and to the nation's consternation Baroness Thatcher's spokeswoman said she is doing "absolutely fine".
Many parliamentarians lined up to voice their concerns over her health, among them Arthur Ramsbottom, MP for Yorkshire Pudding Central and deputy shadow home secretary: "T'bloody Tory cow, I had a fookin' street party planned hoping she'd kick t'bucket and now I fond out she's on't mend. No-one has inflicted more damage on the north of England's industry, not even t'bluddy Nazis. She ruined our fookin' steel and manufacturing base and our fookin' mines. She deserves a long and lingerin' fookin' death. The sooner the better."
Further praise was heaped on the ailing Iron Lady by Lt. Col. Dominic de Sade, member for Old Fartington and the Backwoods, a key member of the hanging and shooting tendency. "Maggie, eh? Good old gal, always game for a fight. No-one did more to make this nation great again, eh? She put Arthur Scargill and the miners in their place, what? And she killed off our factories, which means that we can buy all sorts of Chinese tat without feeling guilty that we're putting British workers out of a job as they don't have one anyway. Attaboy, Mags. Toodle-pip."
The Spoof consulted Dr. Raj Persaud, former rentaquote TV psychologist and plagiarist for the definitive judgment on the former prime minister: "Well, superficially it seems that the nation is still deeply divided over the Thatcher legacy, but if you read between the lines you can see that a lot of people still loathe her while some simpletons continue to worship her particularly nasty form of Conservatism."