Written by j.w.
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Topics: Police

Saturday, 22 December 2012

image for Desperate Police Seek Expert Help
Latest Advice from Wandsworth

As a result of being found out making up stories that were not always in accordance with the facts, the Police are seeking expert advice on how best to improve their abilities in this direction.

Already offers of reduced sentences are being made to prisoners who can teach the Police a thing or two about deception.

A resident in Wandsworth prison, who deceived his Bank employers into paying him £50 million, has been approached. He has told Spoof insiders that he is asking for a reduced sentence and the right to vote in exchange for his assistance.

At first sight the selection of Barnaby Banker by the Police is strange as he got found out. But certain knowledge that the £50 million was the tip of the iceberg won Barnaby the accolade of 'Met Miracle Man.'

In an exclusive interview with our Crime reporter during visiting hours at Wandsworth, Barnaby revealed that anyone trying to 'get' a target should make sure that they cannot be discovered as the instigator of the delivery. 'It's like bowling a googly' he said 'your hand is doing something but nobody can see it!'

'Anothe thing' he mused 'is to make sure a witness is really present when required and that he or she is very respectable.'

Police morale is said to be improving as a result of advice that Barnaby has already provided and he will be able to vote in the next election because he will find his 20 year sentence has been reduced to 2 due to a typographical error.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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