Former Turner Prize nominee and artistic turncoat Tracy Emin has been commissioned to produce a new piece of work by Royal hanger on and professional shopper Pippa Middleton.
The work will another neon piece in the style of Bruce Nauman and will be paid for by Emin's only friend David Cameron. It will take the form of a sign that reads 'Look at ME!' and will be carried by two sign bearers paid for by the government so that it is always above Miss Middleton.
"I'm so excited to have my sign. It is so nice of Mr Cameron to give me public money for it. I really deserve it as it isn't easy being the sister of the future Queen. I have to shop non stop and get on chat-shows all the time. I need people to look at me!" Pippa said
"Look I know that people will think it is a waste of public money." David Cameron said "Pippa is a game girl and we need to promote her. When people see her out shopping it makes people realize that their sacrifices are not in vain. The tax we take is helping people like Pippa shop."
Emin is said to be very happy with the money as her artistic stock has fallen greatly since she joined the Tory Party because she wanted a lower tax rate. People seem to have started to see through her art as being mealy knock offs of other artists work or just bit crap.
Pippa will be presented with her new neon sign at a ceremony on Christmas Day.