Isle of Dogs - Five c**nts of outraging pubic decency have been brought against local London K9 postal district estate agent Darren Stucco following an 'incident' at Barking's Mayan Doomsday Prophecy emergency shelter.
The emergency facility is catering to indigenous Isle of Dogs residents ahead of this Friday's Winter Solstice Armageddon fears.
Town Hall officials brandishing a Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 [RIPA] warrant snapped the real estate legend during a bit of lunchtime legover at the converted former jellied eel pie factory car park.
Leggy blond checkout assistant Darcey Vajazzle, 19, was also charged with bringing the borough's emergency shelter into disrepute after someone posted naked pics on the council website of her spreadeagled in the back of Stucco's converted fish 'n' chip van.
The pair pleaded 'Not Guilty' during arraignment at Barking Magistrates Court this morning and have vowed to 'go all the way' to clear their good names at Crown Court proceeding scheduled for early February.
Commenting on the case today Barking CID sources said Stucco, 69, was a notorious disrespecter of the Mayan Calendar Prophecy who feared rival estate agents sponsoring the Doomsday Shelter were 'after his manor' - local patois for muscling in on his sales territory.
"He's been at it for donkey's years," DCI Bergerac said at lunchtime.
"Wanna see some colour snaps from our extensive evidence file?"
The Sun enters the sign of Capricorn at 11.11GMT this Friday.