Written by Joe Leff
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Friday, 14 December 2012

More and more girls are avoiding universities because of the increase in bees observed in academia.

Female school-leavers are now 50 per cent less likely than males to end up at university.

Many girls really hate bees, and the thought of being stung while at university is frightening them. This is especially marked among the more rural campuses, like the Cotswolds and Pembrokeshire.

Babbinbobbinton College - which has the most bees - is very concerned about the reduction in numbers of female applicants. "It seems that Question 10 on our application form - 'Do you like bees?' is triggering an avoidance panic reaction," said Dr Kingbeeze, Head of Apiary Studies.

Boys do not appear to be worried about bees. And, compared to girls' A-level results, boys typically end up with more Bs than As.

These days, male students also like to wear crazier headgear - and this tends to frighten off bees.

"Anyway," said Dr Kingbeeze "most male students prefer places that are really buzzing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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