Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Monday, 10 December 2012

image for Massive Demand For TV's New Accessory!"
Not to worry - there's only rubbish on it over Christmas!

Television retailers from all over Britain have been reporting heavy customer demand today for this year's new Christmas 'must have' accessory - 3D TV screen protectors.

'We had 2000 of them in stock when we closed the shop on Saturday evening and hadn't sold a single one of them since they were delivered last month,' said Brian Poncer, a TV retail shop manager in Walthamstow, East London this afternoon. Said Brian, 'After opening up the shop at eight this morning the whole lot had flown off the shelves leaving us out of stock by half-past.'

Though Brian said he was delighted to have 'got shot of the things' and had 'made a nice few quid from 'em,' he admitted the sudden demand for them first thing in the morning had meant he'd had to help out on the tills causing him to miss out on having his usual early morning cup of coffee and a biscuit.

Britain's sudden stampede for the 3D TV screen protectors is thought to have been set off after it was revealed in yesterday's Sunday newspapers that this year's Queen's Christmas Day message is to be broadcast on television in 3D.

'Customer's have been saying that after downing a few beers in the pub on Christmas Day lunchtime they might then get home and switch their 3D televisions on, suddenly see the old bat staring back at them, and then, because of the 3D image staring back at them, think she's actually there in the room. People round here still like to enjoy their traditional roast turkey dinner on Christmas Day,' explained Brian, 'and it'd be a shame for them to end up having the whole meal thrown at Her Majesty's face!'

In other news police have been receiving many reports from around the country today of bricks being stolen from building sites!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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