Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 9 December 2012

image for Naked, desperate husband searches for batteries as vibrator loses it's vibrations!
Maybe they should try these next time!

After 30 years of maritial bliss a couple in Dunfermline, Scotland, decided to spice up their lives by buying a vibrator for the wife because the man was entering his hit and miss phase and she too.

They ordered the huge thing over the internet without batteries and after attempting to satisfy his wife's needs, she complained about a lack of vibrations and there was definetly something still missing.

The husband interrupted the steamy session and read the operating manual and discovered the damn thing needed batteries and at this time of night where does one buy batteries in Dunfermline? His wife, feeling quite distraught and freezing cold because the electric blanket shut down, told him to look in the drawer downstairs because she had just bought a new packet for her torch; required for visiting outside toilets in winter in snowy Scotland!

The husband, naked, jumped out of bed, rushed downstairs, searched through the drawers (not hers) and found a packet of Duracell in the bottom drawer. He rapidly fitted them into the huge, black or brown (that's normal; huge I mean) vibrator, rushed upstairs only to find his missus snoring under the covers!

A huge vibrator was discoverd in a rubbish bin two days later and the local police are hoping that the owner will come forward to reclaim it; so they can pop round to see if the batteries are still in working order!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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