London - "Prince Philip's the seasonal 2/1 favorite," online oddsmaker Aintogottaprayer.con sources said today, "but what with the Douchesse of Cambridge's recent nauseous attack we're installing her as the new 5/4 co-fav."
The website's winter odds specials also place Queen Elizabeth on the bookies' equivalent of the Liverpool Scare Pathway with a blanket 2/1 chance of snuffing it before Christmas Day "although next Monday would be ideal for some of our lucky Trifecta customers."
Other top contenders in the Yuletide malingering stakes are Camilla [a 6/4 chance for coming down with complications from a dose of the notorious House of Windsor scrotrot syndrome] and The Douche of K*nt, a firm odds-on favorite in the annual Norovirus Throwing Up Winter Champion Hurdle.
"I blame a pandemic of royal-swine-flu-over-the-cuckoo's-nest, heheh," royal gastro-intestinal specialist Prof Runnetothebog commented.
The C**ntess of Pratts Bottom is 69, not out.