Written by ExiledRoyal
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Sunday, 2 December 2012

image for Cameron resigns in favour of new sporting career
Nobby Cacksack shows us the fist he'll use on Cameron

Freddie Flintoff led the way. Loveable pisshead and cricket all-rounder Andrew Flintoff entered the ring a former England cricketer but left a heavyweight boxer after overcoming a second-round knockdown to beat lardarse American Richard Dawson on his professional debut.

The love which Freddie commands amongst the British public has clearly not gone un-noticed by British P.M. David Cameron. This morning Mr. Cameron announced that he is to hand over the reigns of the Conservative Party in order to concentrate on his new passion: Kickboxing.

Mr. Cameron told us, "I have been so impressed by the way Andrew Flintoff has established a new career and, frankly, I'm fed up of being scorned by the British Public and I want some love. I now see that becoming a professional Kickboxer is a way to fast-track my popularity amongst the people of the U.K."

Fighting under the name "Dave 'Baby-Face' Cameron" he is currently in training at a south-London gym.

The news has prompted an huge rise in applications to join Kick-Boxing gyms up and down the country, by, in some cases, over 1000%.

Already Mr. Cameron is basking in the impact his change of direction is causing. "I'm so glad people see me as a role-model," he simpered to our reporter.

We spoke to Nobby Cacksack, queuing outside a Barnsley gym. "Role-model?" he laughed. "Not at all. The majority of people I know just want to get in the ring in order to kick the living shit out of him. Join the queue."

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